Realigning with my truth.
Updated: Mar 12, 2020
Moments of synchronicity are signs from the universe that we are being supported!
I have those moments often.
And when I look back at my life I realize that I have gotten everything I’ve ever wanted. You attract what you feel energetically. Whenever I am in my high vibe frequency, it feels as if the things I want are effortlessly being placed in my lap.
I've had a strong connection to spirit for my whole life. I have lost it at times, but it always finds it's way back to me.
I had my first spiritual awakening at a very early age. At 17, I found myself completely uninterested in partying, but instead, searching for ways to live a vibrant lifestyle. My vision at this time was to “Be the Light”. I would meditate on this daily and made it my purpose to show up in every situation as a shining light. I became a raw vegan to harness a deeper connection with the earth and started working at a cold pressed juice shop. I was so passionate about these things at that time in my life, that I thought my purpose was to be a raw chef. I had visions of creating a sanctuary space where people could come to learn about holistic health, eat raw foods, and escape everyday life into some sort of 5th dimension dream land. I saw swinging aerial hammocks from the ceiling, cozy floor nooks, an organic vegetable garden outside where we would grow all our own produce, and healing energy spaces where healers would come to do their work. I was so passionate about this dreamy vision I held inside, that I lost complete interest in things that were normal for a 17 year old. Instead of going to parties and hanging out with my friends, I began to turn inward for my fulfillment and spent my days meditating and hiking in the woods. I dreamed of seclusion, of growing all my own food, of living in the jungle off grid and being a healer.
However, after a couple of years of pursuing my passions and living my truth, I began to feel very isolated. All of my friends were off at college. At the time, I was living with a few childhood friends I had loved for years, they were like family… but I was growing distant from them due to our much different interests. I found my peace in nature and around my coworkers at the juice shop, who I could talk about astrology and natural medicine with. But something was missing from my life, I wasn’t fulfilled by living in a small suburb of Sacramento near where I grew up. I craved the ocean, I longed to live by the beach and wake up to the sound of the waves crashing. I wanted to live somewhere that had a more spiritual, health oriented community. Everyone had always been so conservative in the place I grew up, I needed to be around more open minded people.
So I moved to San Diego.
I absolutely loved it there and was so excited to embrace my truth further, by going back to school to get a nutrition degree to start my career as a holistic healer. I met amazing people and was living my life to the fullest for the first time in years… I had great spiritual minded friends. My life was so free, I was having the time of my life.
However, after being in San Diego for about a year, the fun energetic environment changed me… I began to give in to my old vices, and found myself drinking and smoking weed nearly everyday. While I still was healthy with my raw foods and exercise, I no longer could find my glowing light. It was almost as if I had lost access with my spiritual side entirely. At that time, instead of eating these foods for loving energy and working out for my mental health, I became really focused on my appearance. I became someone I didn’t recognize.. always having to look perfect, partying everyday, and becoming super materialistic. This went on for a couple years after that unfortunately. I no longer had good soul friends, all my relationships had become very superficial and based entirely on ego. I even dated someone for over a year entirely based on his appearance and outer self, even though we had no real soul connection.
I was so lost… Where was that girl I used to be?
I so desperately wanted her back but had no idea how. I started to develop anxiety and depression. I couldn’t go on living this lie anymore, wearing all of these masks… I needed to connect to my truth again..
And so I did.. I spent all my time rebuilding my connection with spirit… I did things based purely on energy. I traveled to Sedona to heal at the energy vortexes. I meditated everyday, I listened to Spiritual podcasts everyday and started harnessing my power again. It felt incredible! I was finally myself again.
I bought a one way ticket to South America. I had visions of volunteering, doing Ayahuasca and traveling to my energetic astrology lines. I was so lit up by finally living as my soul again instead of my ego.
I traveled for 4 months in 3 different countries during this time. I spent about 2 months on my Neptune line, which was a deeply healing experience. I didn’t end up doing Ayahuasca ( I believe mama Ayahuasca has a sacred connection to all beings and won’t let you use her medicine until you are ready.. I don’t think I was ready.). I met amazing friends from all over the world. I let go of my need to be perfect, of my need to please others. All this time healing finally brought me back home to my soul. I could start living my truth again and pursue my inner calling.
I began to see messages from the universe daily. Angel numbers would appear out of thin air, and I would have many synchronistic experiences. Even so much, that I was literally manifesting Tiger's Eye stones to protect my energy (read about that in my earlier post). I started to ignore my ego entirely and rely completely on the universe for answers.
I kept seeing messages to go back to pursuing my original dream of working as a holistic healer… I can’t believe I had lost myself so far that I had let this dream slip out of my reach for even just a couple of years. It’s what I am born to do.
I kept receiving downloads to teach locational Astrology. When I first started to learn about this magical subject, it was so hard to find good information. I became completely engulfed in the matter, and spent all my free time learning about the lines and how to read birth charts on a deeper level. I was so obsessed that I would spend hours each day learning about the planetary energies, how to relocate a birth chart. And then while I was traveling, I chose specifically to go to a location based on which planets I had there. I had been wanting to go to my Jupiter line so bad, and I finally had the opportunity.
And it was so magical! Spending time on my Jupiter line, I felt so free, I felt so much love from everyone I met. I felt so supported and able to step into my light.. I honestly couldn’t even bear the thought of leaving this place because I felt so good…
After spending time on my Jupiter line, it really inspired me to not be afraid. I lost sight of my truth for those couple of years because I felt so afraid to express my inner light in a world with so much judgement. But with Jupiter, I felt infinitely supported to speak my truth. The fear diminished entirely.
And so that's what I did. I let go of fear.
When I got home, after having such a profound experience using locational astrology, I felt deeply inspired to teach others how to harness the energy.
So now I am living my truth, doing the things that light me up and bring joy to my soul. It feels so good to be connected to my higher purpose instead of living the everyday rat race that I gave into for the couple of years I lost my connection to spirit.
We all deserve to live our truth and the world needs us to show up as our highest self. Things are changing very rapidly right now , there is a global awakening happening that is so profound, yet deeply inspiring. It's our job to live in our own light so that we can inspire others to find theirs. It's time for us to wake up as a society and shed all of our old masks.